Ice Age Mini Stories
by Tigey Wigey
Summary: A bunch of mini stories focusing on the best animated characters that cinematography's ever known. Rated 'K' 'cause I'm not a pervert. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**I just couldn't think of one-shots to write, so this idea popped into my head. Enjoi!**

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"Come on, Diego-boy! Roll over! Roll over!" Sid urged his feline friend, tauntingly waving a piece of bark in front of the cat's face. Diego snarled in annoyance.

"How 'bout _you _do a trick, Sid? Go play dead in that lake over there." Diego stood up and walked a few feet away from the sloth, obviously irritated. Sid followed anyway.

"Oh, come on, buddy!" Sid whined. "Just roll over! I'll give you a treat!"

Diego eyed the piece of bark in Sid's hand. "I don't eat wood, Sid."

"Then what do you eat?"

Diego growled. "Sloths that don't leave me alone!"

* * *

"I don't get it," Louis commented as he and Peaches strolled through a forest. "How did everyone start calling me 'Wiener'?"

Peaches blew a strand of hair out of her face casually. "I have no idea," she lied. Louis was her best friend; she wasn't about to tell him that the most he could lift up is eight ounces. "Maybe they're all just being jerks."

"I mean...I'm not _that _wimpy, am I?" Louis continued, examining his biceps. _Nothing, _he noted. _Just skin and bones. _He frowned sadly.

"Louis," Peaches stated firmly, noticing her friend's distress, "I don't care what they call you; I think you're perfect just the way you are."

Louis looked up at the mammoth and smiled. "Really?"

"Really."

* * *

_I can't believe they abandoned me...again! _Sid thought with a grimace. His family had paid him a visit- -a really _short _visit- -only a few days ago, and yet the sloth was still upset about it. _Why can't they just appreciate me? Is it because I smell? No, they put up with Uncle Fungus and I don't smell nearly as bad as him! ...Okay, maybe a little, but- -_

"Hey Sidney! Can ya chew this for me? You're real good at that."

Sid looked up to see his grandmother holding out a pomegranate, bitterly awaiting her morning juice. Sid sighed. "Sure, Granny."

The younger sloth stuffed the whole fruit in his mouth and chewed it thoroughly for a few minutes until it turned into a liquid-y goo. He spit it into Granny's empty turtle shell, replying with a "bon appetit!"

His grandmother smiled. "Why thank you, Sidney!" she said, slurping up her breakfast hungrily.

_Well, at least _someone _appreciates me, _Sid thought.

"Now, Sidney- -get off your lazy butt and go get me my cane! I think I left it by that rock over there. Hurry up, my legs hurt!"

_...For the most part._

* * *

Diego felt like the king of the island. His kingdom was all under his command, and his royal subjects respected and feared him at the same time. After all, he was the only carnivore. His deafening roar could strike terror into the hearts of all who heard, and only he had the power to snap the heads of those who annoyed him clean off with his kingly, white teeth. His land was a paradise; what a pleasure to rule! And now- -

"Diego! You coming in for the night?"

"Yeah, Shira, be there in a second."

And now he had a queen to rule with him.

* * *

"But Dad, can't I just- -"

"No, Peaches!"

Peaches huffed in aggravation. "But all my friends are eating them!"

"I don't care, you are not to eat these! They're dangerous!" Manny exclaimed, earning an eye-roll from his daughter.

"Come on, Dad, they're just berries- -how can they be dangerous?"

"I don't know, they'll..._paralyze _you or something!" Manny said, remembering whenever Sid had eaten those weird Lotus berries.

Peaches scoffed. "But they look exactly like the ones everyone else is eating! And they're all perfectly fine!"

"I don't want you eating them, and that's final!" Manny ordered, frowning. Peaches lowered her head, acting defeated.

"Okay, Daddy. Whatever you say," she replied softly. Peaches waited until her father had walked away and had gone out of eye-shot before smirking.

_A few minutes later..._

Manny had just gotten a drink of water when suddenly...

"Manny!" he heard Ellie shout in the distance. "There's something wrong with Peaches!"

* * *

Manny knew all their tricks. Ellie did, too. Diego often chose to ignore them, and Sid had just gotten boring after a while. They'd get in serious trouble with Manny if their target was Peaches. Louis was always underground. Granny would never react as they would've wanted her to, and doing it to strangers just ruined the fun. That leaves just one prank-worthy person that they knew of...

Crash and Eddie waited at the tops of two parallel trees, waiting for that particular person to step right into their trap. In each of their hands sat various rotting fruits. And after several minutes, their target came into place.

"Here she comes, Crash!" Eddie whispered over to his brother. The two possums waited excitedly as Shira walked in between the two trees, on her way to some destination that neither prankster cared about. She had absolutely _no _idea this was an ambush.

_Ready...aim..._

"Fire!" Crash shouted. They each dropped all their bombs square on the poor sabress's head. Shira yelped in surprise at the sudden attack, not having enough time to get out of the way before each and every fruit smashed into her flawless, gray fur.

Crash and Eddie could only laugh their tails off as Shira shouted from below, "I'll get you two rats if it's the last thing I do!"

But when you're new to _this _herd, you've got to remember: You're fresh meat.

* * *

Granny wandered around, to what others would be considered aimlessly. "Phillip! Oh, Phillip!" she called out, her eyes carefully scanning her surroundings. "Come to Mama, Phillip, it's okay! Come here, sweetie!"

Manny, Diego, and Sid all observed the elderly sloth from a safe distance, wondering if the old witch had finally lost her mind.

"Aww, Phillip! There you are!" Granny exclaimed happily, bending down and petting the air in front of her. "Yes, you're a good boy! Such a nice little warthog you are, Phillip! Mm hmm!"

The younger sloth, sabre, and perplexed mammoth could only gawk at her. Sid sighed. "I worry about her sometimes..."

He began to walk over to his grandmother, wanting to tell her that there was nothing there and that 'Phillip' didn't exist. However, the clumsy, fungus-infested mammal had failed to see the tiny mushroom in his path. He tripped and fell face-first into the dirt.

"I worry about _you _sometimes," Manny commented before he and Diego walked away.

* * *

Ellie's herd had endured floods, vicious sea creatures, dinosaurs, deadly laughing gas, violent pirates, and even the end of the world. And even so, their herd kept on growing without a single scratch on anyone. Was it just really good luck, or was her herd special?

Suddenly, Ellie heard delighted screaming sounding from overhead. She looked up to see none other than Crash and Eddie soaring through the sky, spreading their arms like wings and having the time of their lives. As they started to fall more and more towards the ground, they each quickly grabbed onto two different vines hanging from a random tree, using them as ropes to slide down to earth once the vines started to settle from their impact. They walked away from the tree unharmed.

Ellie chuckled. _Nah, it's just really good luck._

* * *

The gazelle was grazing peacefully, not having any idea of what was lurking in the bushes. Diego crouched down lower so that he couldn't be seen.

Shira smiled deviously behind some shrubs, eyes locked on her future meal: a grazing gazelle, oblivious to her presence.

Diego crouched down even lower with a quiet growl, ready to pounce.

Shira got into leaping position, inaudibly snarling, and ready for go-time.

The gazelle still hadn't noticed him...

The gazelle still hadn't noticed her...

Diego sprang out of his cover, emitting a deafening roar, claws extended and fangs bared.

Shira jumped out from behind her hiding spot, ready to land on and kill her lunch.

The gazelle looked both ways and screamed in fright at the double-attack, quickly sprinting away just before either predator could land on him.

The two sabres had no time to move out of the way; they both flew straight through the air in each others direction...

_Shira?_

_Diego? !  
_

Bam! Diego and Shira butted heads, and they both fell to the ground with throbbing craniums and lost dignity.

* * *

"Do you like it, Louis?" Peaches asked proudly. Louis stared at it and tilted his head in confusion. "What is it?"

Peaches grinned. "It's my new hairstyle! I'm trying to set a fashion trend."

The molehog examined the thing on his friend's head. He had seen these before- -they're yellow, they smell good, and they're usually buzzing with insects. Though, he had to admit: Peaches did look pretty good with it on...Like a beautiful princess. "What do you call it?" Louis inquired with a smile.

Peaches beamed. "The beehive!"

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**So there you go! (Haha, I finally saw the movie yesterday!)**

**It's hard coming up with these, so if you want to help me out, please post suggestions in a review. I'm not guaranteeing that I'll do every single suggestion I get, but if yours is good enough, it'll definitely be on here! (What am I saying, "If it's good enough?" Well duh! (I'm still tired.))  
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**P**L**E**A**S**E **R**_E**V**I_E**W**_!_


	2. Chapter 2

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Sid picked up his sulfur rock, and quickly colored in his fur yellow. "Done!" he exclaimed happily, setting the rock back down on the floor. He stepped away from the cave wall, admiring his work. He slowly nodded his head in satisfaction. _Maybe someday I can be famous for my artistic vision! _the sloth thought to himself excitedly. Soft footsteps suddenly began to echo throughout the cave.

"Hey, Sid."

Sid looked to the cave opening to see a grey-coated sabress walking towards him. "'Sup, Shira?"

"What are you doing?" Shira asked, noticing what was drawn on the wall. Sid grinned at her boastfully.

"Oh, just admiring my beautiful artwork..." Drawn on the cave wall were small, poorly-drawn portraits of each and every one of his herd members: Manny, Ellie, Peaches, Louis, Crash, Eddie, Granny, Sid himself, Diego...and...Shira. Shira blinked her eyes and leaned in closer to the wall, trying to get a better look at the drawing of her. They all looked pretty bad, but _her_ portrait...?

"Sid, what the heck is wrong with me?" she asked slowly. Sid giggled nervously.

"Well, I- -uh," he stuttered with a toothy grin, "I...um, drew you all...sexy for Diego..." Shira looked back to her picture in surprise, clearly getting the picture. She shook her head, and silently picked up the yellow sulfur rock. Above the Sid portrait, she carefully drew a lightning bold shocking Sid's head, and finished her editing by changing the sloth's smiling face to an open gasp of pain. She dropped the rock gently on the ground. Sid just stared at her work.

"That's what happens to perverts," Shira commented with an innocent smile. Sid's surprised face slowly turned into one of awe. "Wow, Shira...You're a really good artist!" he exclaimed. Shira just rolled her eyes.

* * *

Buck was on top of the world. Well..._his _world. Riding on Rudy's head as the dinosaur reared up for a nice, ferocious roar, the one-eyed weasel felt like there was nothing he coudn't accomplish. He was the craziest mammal that had ever lived, and that was a title he was proud of.

His rock rang suddenly, and he picked it up and pressed it against his ear.

"'Ello?" he greeted, still clutching onto Rudy's reins. Loud, harsh shouting abruptly emitted from the other end, and Buck quickly pulled his phone away to prevent deafness. Rudy cringed a little at the ear-splitting noise, too.

"Well, I'm _sorry _if I was goin' through puberty!" Buck yelled into the phone, trying to calm the other person down. They quieted, and Buck put the rock up against his ear again.

"Wait, woah, woah, you went where? With who? Gosh, how late d'you stay up?" Buck chuckled. "Mike's not gunna like that, now is 'e? ...Well, why you comin' to _me _for help? You're the one who wanted to...No, no, I get what you're saying, but...Okay, okay, don't get your tails in a twist, just tell 'im that you neva' want to see 'im again; that made _me _leave _my _gi'lfriend alone!...No, I don't want to buy your wata'melon...'Cause, I already got me a mango!...Does it even matta'?"

Rudy rolled his eyes.

"...What are my views on _chalk? _What kinda question is _that?..._Look, I don't mean ta be rude, but...It snowed _donkeys?_ Sure...Oh, you saw his donk...Wait, _what? ! _...Oh geez, no, I don't know a Tony the Tiga'. ...'Cause you're full'a bullpoop, that's why!...Yeah...Mm hmm...Okay..."

"Love ya too, Mum. Bu'bye."

* * *

It was late at night, yet Sid was the only one sleeping. Manny sat wide awake in the cave, deep in thought as he watched the fire slowly burn out. It had been a rough day that day: a huge battle at Half Peak and then having to let go of the baby he and Sid have rescued and taken care of. He had to admit, he was a cute little human.

Now, that that was all over and done with, he and his new friends had to begin the journey of traveling south for the winter...what fun. He had to withstand walking mile after mile, day after day, with an annoying sloth that wouldn't shut up and a tiger that had almost gotten them killed. Speaking of the tiger, Manny looked up to find Diego lying next to the cave exit, staring off into the distance at Half Peak. Diego...Manny seriously had mixed feelings about that big, orange cat. He had gone from enemy to friend to enemy and then back to friend. Could he even be trusted not to try to kill him or Sid again?

Eh...he guessed so. Diego had surprised everyone whenever he had taken that blow for him. Any traces of doubt that Manny had immediately washed away as he stared at the two gaping puncture wounds in Diego's shoulder, lucky that they hadn't appeared on the mammoth's throat instead. Manny had to admit, it takes guts to turn away from your pack for a couple of vegetarians. And at that moment he realized that he had found himself a true, quality friend.

* * *

Scrat sniffed the ground, hunting for his acorn. He swore he had left it over there...or wait, maybe it was over there...behind that rock? No, no, behind a tree...The small mammal sighed in frustration. He had so many acorns buried all over the place he couldn't remember _one _spot where he had hid one! Fortunately, he _could _remember that one large one was around here somewhere. Thing was, this forest all looked the same to Scrat, and to make matters worse, he couldn't pick up a scent.

Peaches quietly stalked through a forest, still angry with her dad from their last fight. _So what if I was paralyzed,_ Peaches thought bitterly. _Big deal. I'm a teenager now, I can make my own decisions. And if I want to eat berries, then I'll eat berries! I don't need Dad babying me for the rest of my life! _The mammoth was so caught up in her ranting thoughts that she hadn't noticed a small, furry animal right in her path...

_"Oomf!" _The next thing Scrat knew, he was flattened on the ground with his face in the dirt. Peaches gasped, realizing what she had done.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to step on you!" she apologized, praying that she hadn't killed him. Scrat let out a pained grunt, and Peaches sighed in relief. "Here, let me get you off."

Slightly embarrassed, the mammoth peeled Scrat off of her foot, setting him down gently on the ground. He looked like a pancake, but at least he was alive. Scrat's whole body hurt, and his back pain especially was agony. "Meep," he whimpered.

"Peaches! Peaches!" Sid called out, running towards his niece and panting heavily. "There you are!"

"Uncle Sid! Watch out!"

Another foot came stomping down on Scrat's aching back, and the small mammal couldn't help but let out a piercing screech. A startled Sid instantly jolted backwards away from the furry, screaming creature...who now had an indent of the sloth's foot printed in his backside.

"I-I'm sorry, little guy! I didn't mean to step on ya!" Sid pleaded loudly, hands interlocked in a prayer.

Scrat merely whimpered in misery; he could have really used an acorn right about then.

* * *

Shira circled Diego flirtatiously, her short, furry tail lashing from side to side. Diego sat confused in the center of Shira's circle, questioning the sabress's odd behavior. It was in the middle of a beautiful night with no one else around- -two romantic factors that Shira was bent on taking advantage of. Problem was, it was impossible to make Diego comply without stating her desires straightforward.

"What are you doing?" Diego asked as Shira circled him once again. The grey sabress slowly came to a stop, a little disappointed with the male cat's ignorance. "Nothing," she replied as she settled down beside him. They had an excellent view of the ocean, complete with a beautiful, star-dotted sky overhead. The calming sound of waves thrashing onto the shore added to the romance. However, Shira's mind was slowly filling with other thoughts.

She knew good and well that she liked Diego. The question was that if Diego liked her back. She wondered why he never showed any affection for her other than bringing her an occasional meal. And at that pace, the only thing they would ever be in life is friends. _Does he like me, _she wondered? That question kept ringing throughout her head over and over again, driving her more and more crazy every time. _He must only like me as a friend, he's never done anything romantic towards me before._

And at that moment, Shira felt Diego lean in and slowly and gently lick her cheek. She looked back at him in surprise. There was a small, love-stricken smile plastered on his face that made Shira have no choice but to smile back at him and return the favor. _So romantic, _Shira thought dreamily.

Meanwhile, Diego's mind was racing. _Phew...See? She licked you back! I _told_ you you should do it! Well done, Diego. Now don't stop smiling and stare out into the ocean romantically. She'll _totally _want you by the end of the night!_

* * *

Crash and Eddie were hanging upside-down on the branch of a random tree, bored out of their minds. Out of nowhere, Eddie's stomach rumbled loudly. "Hey Crash, you know what I could go for right now?" he asked, turning towards his brother.

"What?"

Eddie licked his lips, famished. "Ham."

Crash scoffed. "Ham? Pfft...Nah, you should totally be wanting _cheese _right now. Cheese is delicious."

"_Cheese_?" Eddie blurted, cringing in repulsion. "Dude, cheese is just hard milk or something! Ham is delicious, quality, gourmet food. The only thing cheese is good for is chucking at people."

Crash shook his head. "Well ham is just pig fat! If you eat ham, you're going to end up like Aunt Herbert! Do you _want _to be a furry watermelon?"

Eddie stared at Crash, and eventually, they were giving each other an evil glare.

"Ham!" Eddie hollered.

"Cheese!" Crash shouted back. Eddie's death stare hardened.

"Ham!"

"Cheese!"

"Ham!"

_"Cheese!"_

"HAM!"_  
_

"CHEESE!"

"HAM!""CHEESE!""HAM!""CHEESE!""HAM!""CHEESE!"

Meanwhile, as the two bickered, Louis casually strolled by, minding his own business and enjoying the beauty of the trees and flowers around him. He was humming to himself happily, skipping almost, silently enjoying the recent fight between Peaches and Ethan. He let out a girlish giggle as he remembered Peaches telling Ethan to drop dead.

**"LOUIS!"  
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**"LOUIS!"**

The molehog winced in surprise, and looked up to see his two "favorite" people, Crash and Eddie, hanging from a tree. "What?" he asked innocently.

"Louis," Crash shouted firmly, pointing at the mole-like animal with a serious look on his face, " what do you like better, ham or cheese?"

Louis thought for a moment, then shrugged his shoulders. "Neither...I like honey best."

Eddie's face softened. "Well...I do like honey, too..."

Crash crossed his arms. "Dude, slugs are sooo much better than honey."

Eddie turned to Crash, and scowled. Crash scowled back. _Oh, it's on..._

"HONEY!""SLUGS!""HONEY!""SLUGS!""HONEY!""SLUGS!"

Louis just quickly walked away.

* * *

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

She sells seashells by the seashore.

Sid hated tongue-twisters. He could never get them right! He'd always say it wrong and end up sounding like an idiot. Not that he was an idiot, of course. But what troubled him the most was the fact that everyone else seemed to say them flawlessly. What moron came up with tongue-twisters anyway? Oh well. If you can't say them, you can't say them. Although, there was one thing that Sid the sloth could say that no one else could: "I can make fire!"

"I can make fire? Pfft, anyone with a mouth could say that, Sydney."

Sid sighed. He has _got _to stop babbling to himself out loud.

* * *

Even as a little monkey, Gutt dreamed of ruling the world. Though, a little while after that idea popped in his head, he came to the conclusion that that feat was near impossible. So, he decided to settle for the next best thing: becoming a pirate. He wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the idea at first, but the more he thought about the fact that he could be called 'Captain' and have people walk the plank, the more he liked it. He may not be able to rule the world, but he definitely thought that he could rule the seas.

One night, as a teenager, he ran away from home. He traveled north, stalking along the shoreline and searching for a suitable ship. He always made sure to sleep near the ocean, no matter the weather, so that the sound of the tides and the seagulls could lull him to sleep. The ape constantly wondered what he would discover once he finally set out, and he looked forward to finding lost treasure and gems.

Gutt's journey continued. He grew a nice and intimidating beard, and the hair on his head morphed into an impressive hat. His fingernails became filthy, and his teeth yellowed. Of course he had terrible hygiene on purpose; he wanted to be feared. He studied his fingernails one day. Nice and gross and jagged. He didn't have a name back then, but then he thought that Gutt would be a nice name for him. He could gut his enemies, giving his new name a frightening meaning. Captain Gutt. He liked the sound of that.

At last he had found a ship. It was a massive iceberg, already afloat, and just waiting to be claimed. He didn't even think he had to name it; 'Gutt's ship' could be terrifying enough.

Captain Gutt began to collect fruits. He gathered watermelons, apples, peaches, oranges, pineapples, grapes, tangerines...plus a whole bunch of other fruits that he deemed delicious. He stored them all on his new ship, watching his bounty grow bigger with each passing day. After about a week, he was certain that he was ready to set off. Using his feet, he pushed his ship away from the continent and let the tides carry him away. He stood nice and tall on the bow of his ship, enjoying the ocean's salty breeze and the excitement that was coursing throughout his body. He would start a crew someday and be known around the world as fierce. He would be the best pirate ever.

* * *

Peaches slowly walked up to her parents, sweat pouring down her face. They were just talking to each other under a tree like there wasn't a care in the world. Peaches gulped, and suddenly noticed that her legs were shaking. _You're going to have to tell them sooner or later, _the mammoth thought nervously. _Let's just get this over with._

She cleared her throat. "Hey Mom, hey Dad."

Manny and Ellie stopped talking and looked up at their daughter. Ellie smiled. "Hi, Peaches!" she exclaimed happily. Peaches's heartbeat was now thumping twice as fast as normal.

"Yeah...H-Hey, Mom..." she stuttered. She gulped again, obviously shaken. "I uh...I have to tell you guys something..."

Manny and Ellie looked at each other in confusion, wondering why their daughter was acting so strange. "What?" Manny asked gently.

Peaches sighed, her heart beating out of control. "I...uh...I..." she choked on the rest of her sentence, and her eyes filled with tears. She swallowed. "I...I'm...pregnant..."

As soon as those words left her mouth, the world seemed to stop spinning, and all noises were muted. Neither Manny or Ellie said anything; Peaches could easily tell by their faces that they were in complete shock. The teenager looked at the ground, her tears blurring her vision.

"WHAT?" Manny finally exclaimed. His eyes darted to Peaches's stomach. Well, now that she said that, it _did _look a little rounder...

"Peaches..." Ellie practically gasped. "Oh my god, are you serious?"

The younger mammoth nodded solemnly. And then, incredibly, Manny began to..._smile. _

_"Peaches!" _he shouted happily. "That's great! That's so great, you're going to have a baby! That's awesome, I can't believe it!"

"Manny- -" Ellie cut in. Manny was too happy to listen, however, and ran over to his daughter to give her a hug.

"Wait- -so you mean you're not mad?" Peaches asked, surprised. When she was first coming over to tell them, she was certain that they were going to yell and yell and yell, and maybe even beat the pulp out of her. She was too confused to accompany her father in the celebration.

"No, I'm not mad!" Manny replied joyously while nuzzling her forehead. "Why would I be- -"

"GUYS!" Ellie boomed. Everyone silenced, and some animals passing by stopped to watch the show. Manny was puzzled. Shouldn't his wife be happy? What could possibly be wrong?

Ellie slowly approached Peaches, looking at her daughter square in the eye.

"Peaches..." she began. "...Who's the daddy?"

Peaches cringed inside...because honestly, she wasn't sure.

* * *

Three-month-old Diego loved to play with his ball of twine. Whenever he got bored, he would whip out his trusty old toy and play with it for hours. Since the other sabres his age in his pack were all bratty and snobbish and popular, he never had any real friends to play with. It was just him and his twine. He loved to roll it down hills and chase it; it made him a better hunter. He loved to lie on his back and toss it up in the air; it made him more coordinated. He loved to stand on it for as long as possible; it gave him more balance. However, one day, it had accidentally rolled into a raging river, never again to be retrieved.

Now, as an adult, he had a _new _twine ball, and although he'd never admit it to anyone, he still had as much fun with it as he did when he was little. Obviously it was a bit childish and degrading, so Diego opted to play with it in secrecy. However, that doesn't guarantee that no one will see you.

He was playing with it one day; you should have seen his face when Shira decided to pop in.

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First off, I would like to give a special thanks out to PurplePurplePurple, EDWARDNYGMA23, Guest, and Funkywatermelon for the ideas. Thanks, people!

And another special thanks goes out to everyone who reviewed. If you didn't review yet, nothing's stopping you from doing so. It's right down there. Don't be lazy now. I need ideas!

Click itttt...I dare you!


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